Barring a few like Harsha Bhogle, all of them throw cliche after cliche to the listener. Sometimes I wonder if they’ve recorded an hours worth of commentary and are playing it on loop. Here is a list of things commentators have to say during a match, without which it cannot conclude:
- It’s very important to get a good start for the opener so that the middle order players can consolidate and build on to the platform.
Reaction: Oh yes! I thought the openers were only supposed to warm the crease.
- It will be very important for the bowlers to maintain line and length.
Reaction: Uh huh! Thank you for informing.
- The bowlers need to get early wickets.
Reaction: Yes, it’s okay if they go for 6 sixes in an over after that.
- The death overs are going to be the key.
Reaction: Because the middle overs are a complete deadlock.
- The fielding needs to be very good. It is half the battle won.
Reaction: By this time you’re wondering if there’s something that isn’t a ‘key’.
- Seems like this was the commentators curse.
Reaction: Yes, Nostradamus. You self-obsessed narcissist!
- Winning the toss has turned out to be the key.
Reaction: Another key.
- The umpires need to be uniform in their decision making.
Reaction: Is it! I thought they move their arms in random motion to exercise.
- Cricket is such that you never know till it has really ended.
Reaction: Yes, yes they all say the same thing about each sport. They’re all so exhilarating!
- At the end of the day, cricket won.
Reaction: Then, why did either of the teams play?
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